Steps

1. Find a Pet Rock. Go outside and look for a nice, round rock. If you look hard enough and in the right area, you should be able to find a rock. If you like shiny decorative rocks in different colors, dollar stores or pet stores have many medium sized fish tank rocks.
2. Bring it home and give it a nice warm bath in the sink or a plastic cup. Wash the rock in warm water with soap to remove any bacteria that may be harmful to you or your rock.
3. Determine if your rock is a boy or a girl. Get a washable marker and put a heart on one side and a star on the other. Go to a soft place like the bed or a sofa and throw it above the soft place. Do this 3 times. If it lands on a heart most of the times, it's a girl. If it lands on the star mostly, it's a boy.
4. Name your rock. Names like "Rocky" are very obvious and well used names, but there is nothing wrong with them.
5. Create a Home for Your Pet Rock. Get a shoe box or other small box. Lay down felt and glue it to the bottom of the box. Find a small bowl that your rock will fit in. Lay cotton ball down in it and lay a napkin or tissue over it and tuck the sides in. Get a small lid and lay it upside down and now your pet rock has a place to go to the bathroom. Make a cardboard TV and slide a magazine picture in it for your rock's entertainment. Cut holes in the box and glue a piece clear plastic over them for windows.
6. Spend time with your rock. When you go on MSN, take your rock. When you go to bed, take your rock.
7. Buy your rock a cheap carrying case and take it with you wherever you go.
8. Introduce your rock to your friends. They may look at you as if you are crazy at first, but soon enough they will love your rock as much as you do.
9. Take pictures of your rock in special places.

Tips

• Most rocks are fans of Rock Music.
• To make your rock smell nice, spray it with cheap cologne or rub it with cheap scented lotion everyday.
• If you feel your rock is lonely, give it a family.
• Remember its birthday and celebrate it. Give it a birthday gift--something nice.
• Rocks can be great family heirlooms. They live forever (if taken care of) and can be passed down from generations.
• Rocks don't need to be fed. That is the beauty of a rock.

Warnings

• Small rocks are good for people who take care of their possessions, but if you are careless, get a larger rock.

• a rock
• a home for the rock

Steps

1. Imagine your rock has an MSN system. When your rock needs to speak to you, he will send you a message. You will suddenly know that your rock needs to talk to you.
2. Ask him what he wants in your head. In a second or two, you will know the answer.
3. Give him your reply in the same way as you asked what he wanted.
4. If you want to speak to him/her, then you will have to send a message. You should have got the hang of it now; just do what your rock would do.

Tips

• Don't be shocked if your rock argues with you! Everyone has opinions, and just because you're his/her owner doesn't mean they have to agree with you all the time.
• On the other hand, if your rock is always grouchy, don't be too soft on them. Make sure they respect you and that they suffer the consequences when they don't.
• Some rocks may speak a slightly different dialect. Take the time to learn their language.

Warnings

• Leave your rock alone when he is tired or wants peace and quiet. If not, he will rebel and run away.
• Some rocks are shy. Don't force them to talk.
• Don't tease your rock, even if you want to break up.

Steps

1. Determine whether your rock is female or male. You do not want to have a pink and fluffy house if your rock is a boy.
2. 
   Find a suitably sized box. A box from a pair of toddler's shoes may be best. If you have a medium-sized rock (2-4cm diameter), then find a large variety of matchbox. These usually contain chef's matches. If you have a smaller rock, then you could just get away with a smaller matchbox, but don't leave you pet languishing there all day. Just keep it for sleeping.
3. Make it a home. Find some felt or other suitable material for the carpet. Stick it down. Make a bed for your rock out of a small pot filled with cotton wool. Don't use blankets. This is not the suitable. Make chairs out of small blobs of cotton wool. Make a basic table by bending down two opposite sides of a rectangle cut deftly from posterboard or other cardboard. Create a jacuzzi out of a small plastic pot and fill it with water.
4. Make a plasma TV out of thick cardboard. Unless you know how to wire this thing to enable streaming video, you can just cut out a photo of a particularly good looking fossil from the Smithsonian Institution or the British Museum. Paste it on the screen so as to look like an image on a TV screen. This will be ideal for you pet's entertainment. If you just give her one piece of popcorn, she will sit there admiring that fossil for hours and hours and hours. If you think your Rock is a bit of a nerd, you might want to post not a fossil, but an image of the Rosetta Stone for her contemplation.

Tips

• Rocks tend to like having a lot of things in one big room. This materialistic streak was mentioned above and must not be overstated. Pet Rockery is not an inexpensive hobby. Try having a bathroom and bedroom all in one room, and a kitchen, dining room and lounge in the other.
• Add many other things, toys, photos and exercise equipment for your rock.

Warnings

• Remember your rock's gender! It would be terribly mortifying for both of you if you worked hard making a pink-themed home only to find that your pet is a male.

Things You'll Need

• A large matchbox/shoebox/doll's house
• Felt
• Cardboard
• Small containers
• Cotton wool
• Glue